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Home > News > Blogs > Voices from the Spectrum > Where Were You?

Where Were You?

Yvonne Daly

We were very pleased when Yvonne Daly, a mother who has a 22 year old son with Asperger's Syndrome,  shared with us a poem she has written from the perspective of a parent. Heartfelt and very moving, this is a poem which i'm sure will have meaning for many other parents.

Where were you that day my world fell apart?

The grief I felt almost broke my heart

He has Asperger’s they said as I walked out the door

Handing me some leaflets to explain it some more


Where were you later that day as I sat all alone in my car

Tears blinding me as I realised all hope seemed so far

No one to advise me and tell me how my son would turn out

But I knew I had to make the world understand what my son was all about


Where were you when I cried as my young son headbanged the ground?

I needed you then, but you weren’t around

Where were you as I watched him play all alone?

My heart filled with sadness and as heavy as stone


Where were you at parties when the other kids were having fun?

Hiding under the table is where you’d find my son

Where were you as he screamed getting fitted for shoes?

Upset getting his hair cut - there were all the clues


Where were you when he had a tantrum and his screams filled the air?

As strangers murmured ‘Bad Mother’ that filled me with despair

Where were you as I cried myself to sleep at night?

Worrying about his future with no hope in sight


Where were you in the playground when no one would go near?

He’ll cry if he loses – that was his playmates fear

No friends to play with, he was always on his own

Imagine going through your whole life, always alone


Where were you when he became a teen and realisation kicked in?

Knowing he was different, always on the outside looking in

The depression never far as he struggled to cope

Knowing no one cared enough to give him some hope


Where were you as he struggled to get paid employment

To fit in with society and experience social enjoyment

They say he’s the best worker and works hard through the day

But only if it’s voluntary and they don’t have to pay!


Where are you now while his peers go on dates?

While he’s always home with his Mum as he has no real mates

No girl interested enough to get to know this handsome young man

She just can’t see past his Asperger’s the same as no one else can


Who will be there for him when I am no longer here?

The stress and the worry constantly fills me with fear

No one else understands the challenges my son faces every day

But he deserves to know you will somehow try and find a way



Where are we now having lived through those desperate years?

Filled with hopelessness, anger and plenty of fears

Well I’m proud of the young man my son has turned out to be

Despite you not being there, I hope you agree


You see I know my son best like no one else can

So if you want to help now then involve me in the plan

You may have studied autism and read the news

But you cannot understand us unless you’ve walked in our shoes.